Cinema is Dope

Fantasy role playing does not mean anything kinky in Brussels, Belgium. It means dressing up as your favorite movie monster, creature, character or other and then treating audiences waiting in line as if they were in a Korn mosh pit. Of course there is also creature theatre here where people dress up in various fantasy-esque creatures and do live interactive performances.

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Crosswalk lights for pedestrians do not screw around in Brussels, Belgium. They are either green or red and no inbetween. I’m so used to a yellow caution light that gives me a wink wink that the light is about to change that having only green and red really threw me off. Making it more confusing is the traffic lights for cars are at most intersections positioned so pedestrians can’t see their color status (you can adjust your position but typically you have to stand dangerously close off the road to do so). Making it even more complicated than that at each stop light every car revs their engines like they are at the start of a NASCAR race. They just taunt you to be stuck in the road when the light changes red, “come on you walking fool I will make you my Mad Max dinner!”

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Ok girls please know that if your ever considering getting into an anime/manga relationship that your boyfriend will always be wearing more make up and lace attire than you. Just a heads up. PSA over and out.

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Who knew Jabba the Hut has been hitting the treadmill? He tells me his new workout program including yoga and hip hop dancing classes has made all the difference. He went from 8,000 pounds to 5,000.

Also note I learned that people still cross their swords for Star Wars here in Brussels, Belgium. Sad? Cool? Scandalous? You decide!

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Just in case you might get tempted, the city of Brussels has made sure to remind citizens not to drop anchor in their canal. Take that you freaking anchor dropping foolz!

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Yesterday I got to witness my first ever 20th International Body Painting Contest @ 25th Brussels International Festival Of Fantastic Film. BIFFF is famous for its very immaculate body painting contest they run each year that has a strong gothic/sci-fi/horror edge. Girls are painted and decorated like they are being made up to be in some super expensive swanky movie (and yes everyone being painted for the most part is completely naked… save for some thongs).

::: View Images Here (must be logged into FLICKR to see and not safe for work)

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Looking to get your cannibal on? Well Brussels seems to cater to that rare audience. Just look on any menu here and your bound to find at least one cannibal dish.

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Notre bière est plus forte que votre bière (aka our beer is stronger than your beer)… and in Brussels they take this very seriously. So much so that not only can you buy soda pop in vending machines… but you can also buy beer!

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Douche Folle! Before turning on a shower that is the detachable hand held kind be sure that your shower head is firmly in place. Otherwise you will find yourself and the rest of your bathroom insanely soaked with cold water. This is even more so the case with the high powered kind - where if the shower head isn’t on tight it will easily slip off and start spraying water all around out of control while your left grasping to try and catch it. Not that this would ever happen to me. Well ok so it did. Everyone has at least one M. Hulot moment each day.

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In the online information for perks at the hotel I’m staying at in Brussels it mentions ironing available in all rooms. Ironing to me is a good old fashioned ironer that you take out and all that jazz. Here an ironer is this giant waffle iron looking thing that sits in the closet. To iron shirts or pants you just push out its door and then push it back in and flip a switch. It does an ok job but not at the level that would keep your girlfriend from complaining you look like a wrinkle chump. So basically if you have to be super sharp dressed here with a zero wrinkle fashion display you have to use dry cleaning.

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I got into my hotel room (staying @ Thon - Hotel Brussels City Centre) yesterday and for the life of me couldn’t figure out how to turn on any lights. I’m used to just walking in and flipping on switches. Standing there perplexed I also noticed that the AC wasn’t working. I then call down to the front desk and explain I can’t get the lights to turn on and the AC appears to be out. They told me that rest assured somebody would be right up to help. Coming off a 5,000+ mile flight to get here I was dying to take a shower. With the lights not working I contemplated any other options I had to take a shower:

A) Go to the grocery store next door and buy some candles and matches.
B) Buy a battery operated strobe light or disco ball at a pawn shop.
C) Use the force and shower in the dark.
D) Get a bucket of water, towel, bar of soap and find a back alley.
E) Wait for the hotel to help me.

I went with option E. However, after waiting 30 minutes I realized I needed to go down to the front desk. Apparently Amelie who took my request failed to put in an actual request so I was back at square one. The guy working said he would send someone asap. When I returned to my room I had a hotel worker with the wooden boards off and wires everywhere. Within minutes he had the AC working again. I asked him about the lights and not speaking any English he basically asked me in French if I had put my room card into the white box. My response was “white box?” I quickly scanned the room looking for anything that looked like a white box. He then pointed to this white object by the door and said in order to have electricity in my room I had to leave my room card in it. Otherwise no damn electricity. Inserted my card and left it in. Several seconds and wamp wamp wamp the electricity came on.

As a side note the whole ordeal made me think this situation would make a great big hair 80’s rock band song, “Put your card… in the white box, in the WHITE BOX, in the white boooooox! OOO OOO OOOOOHHH!!!”

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