Cinema is Dope

The official soap (both shower gel and hand soap) in Frankfurt, Germany is none other than Tricky Ricky. As such I would love to hear what you think would be the perfect theme song for this soap. For me it would go something like the Willie Dynamite theme song - “TRICKY! OHHH tricky RICK-YYY!“

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In no other part of the world do I ever smile in pictures… except Italy. Hmmm. For all the doubters who said it was impossible for me to smile in a picture take this picture as proof of my smile-a-photo-ability.

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Tightly wound hooded sweaters was the most raging and popular fashion. If you didn’t get your hood diddy on in Udine… you were a NO-BOD-Y. The tighter you wore them around your face equaled the coolness to which you were perceived by others. Who knew a Vienna Japanese film lover would create this fashion trend by mistake!?!

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Forget sharks with laser beams. All I wanted to find in Udine, Italy was a pizza with some freaking meat. However, all I found were pizza joint after pizza joint only offering up vegetarian pizzas. I asked locals about this. Apparently in Udine it was the big pepperoni drought of 2007 prompting many to listen to Lionel Richie’s greatest hits again and again… pining for the day when pepperoni returns.

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Honestly I didn’t ever expect to find a sign that was an official city sign directing people to Playboy fun times. They say Europe is more open minded and this sign is certainly proof (with a cute bunny wabbit no less — insert follow the white rabbit Matrix reference here).

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In Udine, Italy Kim Hye-soo (South Korean actress) is more popular than Jessica Biel (tabloid actress).

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Much love to the airlines Alitalia for not only losing my luggage into Italy but also when I left. No clue if I’ll ever see my luggage again. In the meantime here is a glimpse of how I rebounded after the first time my luggage went lost. Kit Kat in the house with some pimped out deodorant. If your not rolling with a Prince Purple Rain-ish evoking deodorant in Italy… you are not going to find a date. Grease isn’t the word for being suave in Italy… it’s purple rain… purrrpplllle rain. A song I also sing as I mourn my lost luggage. On a side note the only regret I have on my entire trip is not bringing back an entire truck of the brand new peanut butter Kit Kats!!!

Note: The “Burn” drink in the picture is a Coca Cola product in Europe that is basically a Red Bull type deal but way more intense.

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In Italy people can shapeshift.

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In Italy they love Orange Juice just a little bit different than the rest of the world. See in Italy it ain’t Orange Juice unless it has some carrot and lime juice thrown in. Shocking but true. Just ask Tori Amos.

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Some Irish slang I learned while in Dublin, Ireland was “gawditouddabottle.” Which translates as (if you say it really fast like the Irish): “got it out of a bottle.” This phrase is in reference to any female that dyes her hair to a color other than her natural color. Apparently natural redheads are in growing short supply in Ireland with most you see on the streets having… you guessed it - “gawditouddabottle.” Oddly enough most of the natural redhead girls I saw in Ireland had all dyed their hair bleach blonde.

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In Dublin, Ireland standing room only in bars takes on a whole new meaning. Most popular bars are so filled with people that as you move around you might as well be playing a group game of Twister. Seriously… as I went into each bar I felt I was breakdancing just to try and snake my way past people to the bar. There was no room at all to move. Then it finally dawned on me that the only way to get beer in this town was — CROWD SURFING TO THE BAR BABY! If you can’t crowd surf, you definitely aren’t getting a beer in this town. So as a PSA please have your crowd surfing skills in peek form before taking a trip to a Dublin bar. Thankyouverymuch-o.

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Where else in the world would you expect to find the Alamo? How about a restaurant in the temple bar area of Dublin, Ireland that offers up what it considers to be the best Mexican food in town (and some Tex-Mex). If only they had offered Shiner beer there… shrug.

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Walking in Dublin in the Temple Bar area, not only will you find street peddlers but you will also find HORROR peddlers! Gasp. The game is to see if you can tip them change without the horror peddlers scaring the living crap out of you. Take this horror peddler for example. His art of horror is standing completely motionless and posed a top a suspicious looking box. As people pass by he suddenly hits the box with his foot generating a loud crashing noise followed by a sudden shift into a lurching beast from hell pose. This alone scares the crap out of anyone not paying attention. For those that have already been scared or have been watching all along the main game is to see if you can approach his box and put money in his money box without him scaring the living crap out of you. Each time someone would come forward to put money in the horror peddler would routinely change up when and how he scared them. I didn’t see a single person that tipped the horror peddler that didn’t jump. They knew it was coming but the horror peddler still scared again and again and again. Performace art horror pays.

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Have you ever used a toilet and wondered… “what if, what if, what if, what if, whatif, WHATIF?… a toilet also had a super flush?” Well in Dublin and throughout most of Europe they are already ahead of you. Most all hotel toilets and some public ones you will find two flushing options. The first option is indicated by a smaller circle which basically means - for when ya’ ain’t done much. The second option is, THE SUPER FLUSH - for when ya’ done too damn much.

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